no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
