Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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