I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
