Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
