So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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