Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
