Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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