She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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