my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
