Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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