Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
