listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
