i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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