If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
