I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
