I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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