You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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