I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
