He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
