Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
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you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
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And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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