My underwear smells like fireworks.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
