this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
