Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
