Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
