This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
