i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
