Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
