how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
