its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
