Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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