if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
