"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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