i don't plan on having that self control this summer
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
