All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
