i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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