His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
