he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
How external is "for external use only"?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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