Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
