Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
