do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
