dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
