i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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