I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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