dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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