The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
