Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
