I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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