all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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