Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Every concussion has its silver lining
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
