I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
where are my eyebrows?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
