i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
