Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
