Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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