Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
