he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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