I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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