He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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