If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
