how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
