Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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