you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
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i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
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You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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