You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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