Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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