We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
