Fine. I'll sleep in my office
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
