i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize