i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Randomize
